“Tongue and Cheek” Resources, Holidays (3.5 D&D)

Posted: May 19, 2013 in 3.5 Edition Dungeons and Dragons/PFRPG
Tags: , ,

In the spirit all things fun, I decided to add some levity to a holiday theme and go with some “tongue and cheek” resources for 3.5 D&D:

Scrutinize Presents (WIS)

Check: You can scrutinize previously wrapped gifts, without damaging the package with a DC 12 check, thus determining what the contents may be. Failure means that you mistake what the gift may be.

Scrutinizing exotic sized presents or packaging requires a successful check against DC 15, 20, or higher. If the check is successful, you estimate what the gift is correctly; failure means you cannot figure out what the gift may be.

A magnifying glass gives you a +2 circumstance bonus on scrutinize checks involving any packaging that is small or highly detailed. A common house-hold scale gives you a +2 circumstance bonus on scrutinize checks involving any gifts that are scrutinized by weight. These bonuses stack.

Action: Appraising an item takes 1 minute (ten consecutive full-round actions).

Try Again: No. You cannot try again on the same object, regardless of success.

Special: The master of a Parrot familiar gains a +3 bonus on scrutinize checks. A character with the Alertness feat gets a +2 bonus on scrutinize checks.

Synergy: If you have 5 ranks in the Spot skill, you gain a +2 bonus on scrutinize checks.

Untrained: Failure on an untrained check means no determination is made to what the present may be and there is a 20% chance to damage the gifts wrapping.

Fruit Cake of Holiday Tribulation (cursed item):
Known for being a ruinous portent of the holidays, receiving this gift often causes calamity, strife among family, and general disregard for politeness. The victims of this cursed, barely edible, loosely defined item of food, find themselves befuddled, and unable to make gift purchasing decisions as long as they stay in possession of the cake.

Ridding oneself of this accursed gift requires that they send it to another family member or close friend so that they can resume their holiday shopping.

Detect Santa


Level: Clr 0, Drd 0, Pal 1, Rgr 1, Sor/Wiz 0

Components: V, S

Casting Time: 1 standard action

Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Target or Area: Home

Duration: Instantaneous

Saving Throw: None

Spell Resistance: No

You can detect Santa Claus in a cone emanating out from you in whatever direction you face. You must think of holiday gifts when using the spell. The amount of information revealed depends on how long you search a particular area or focus. Using this spell often ruins Christmas for the caster and may even harm the delicate psyche of their peers, siblings, and the younger generations.

The spell can penetrate barriers, but 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt blocks it.


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